I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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