It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
