The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
