There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
