There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
