I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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