Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize