Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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