Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
