its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
MIDGETS
????
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
