shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize