It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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