im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
