I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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