JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
