he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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