Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
