THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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