whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
