he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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