first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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