My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
