so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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