Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
