Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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