turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
