Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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