I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
