We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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