Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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