If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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