i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Porn is love you can see.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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