Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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