Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize