The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
