M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
