Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
