Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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