We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize