Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize