I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
