I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
