Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
