There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
