i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
