real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
