Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize