This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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