i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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