don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
