he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
