There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
