its not stalking. its research.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
