I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
