In the future we'll all be gay
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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