Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
